Monday, September 17, 2012

When Ah Jed talks about Chua Soi Lek

WARNING: This post has been deemed unsuitable for any gin na who is under the age of 18.It contains alot of profanities from different chinese dialects, and it discusses Chua Soi Lek.

 This is what happens when Ah Jed is too free, he'll choose one random people and tiu him. As for today, our unfortunate victim is none other than the famous pornstar, Chua Soi Lek!!!!!!
The reason why I tiu him is not because he has a very 'cat lan' face(my opinion may be different from yours, you may think that he looks as good as Takeshiro). Who the f is Takeshiro? go google it lah..... Just like 'satan' is the symbol of 'evil' , Chua Soi Lek is the symbol of 'immorality'.

       In US or Uk, or Cambodia or any other country for f sake, when your dick(regardless of its length) is exposed to the public for the wrong reason, your politic career is over. Ok lah... who didnt have sex before.........a man sure have his needs mah.........KNNCCB your wife is waiting for you at home why you must tapau outside???? but nevermind a fellow human being we must know when to mind our own business......but then.....a few week after his brilliant low intensity sex-tape being 'published', he got promoted from vice-president of MCA to president of MCA.yeah right anything can happen in Bolehland

       For those mindless MCA member who choose to vote for him in the party election, a small humble question for you...'Do you endorse adultery?'. I m very very dissapointed when the pornstar got elected to become the MCA undoubtedly sends the wrong message to our neighbor country.

       Everytime when this fella opens his mouth, it reminds me of the sex video.As a registered voter, I have planned to vote for Teh Kim Po (a MCA candidate) in the coming election, but then now, I have changed my mind.To be fair,the now ruling PR candidate hasnt done a good job either(roads full of potholes,alot illegal gambling shoplots,banyak shining shining punya tapak kaki and many more).Therefore, I will not vote for either PR or MCA member, I will vote for any neutral candidate without a party because and BECAUSE a vote for any MCA candidate(who endorsed adultery)is a vote for adultery and 'I DONT ENDORSE ADULTERY'

 +++DISCLAIMER+++ Everything in this post is based on countless research on Chua Soi Lek's sex video, therefore it is fair to claim that this post contains nothing but the truth.


gin na= 'child' or 'children' in hokkien
tiu= 'fuck' in cantonese.(has alot of uses)
KNNCB= abbreviation for************ trust me, theres no use learning that

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

When Ah Jed learns that 'Everything Starts from the bottom'

Yeah everything starts from bottom. It is not that hard to understand the meaning of this phrase but the true meaning deep down ,only a few can understand.

Life is like climbing a mountain. Every steps,every decision, every breath requires utmost attention. 1 little slip may cause one to slip downhill, making one to starts all over from the bottom again.

When you at the peak of the mountain, one thing that you shouldn't and mustn't do is to look down from the hill, despising people that are trying their best to climb to the spot you are in now, remember you start from that exact spot as well. One must also not ignore the fact that, 1 mistake will make you slip to the bottom of the hill.

The right and rational thing to do when climbing a mountain is, to look forward and climb to the peak. Dont look back and worry about the other hikers that are going to overtake you because the minute you do so, you made mistake, and you slip. Like the bitch in my discrimination law class.

I looked like an idiot, I looked like a clown, in the seminars. I am not a good english user, but looking down on me was the worse thing you can do."oh god , why?" , her expression when holding her assessed work paper was priceless. Now that I have my first victory, I cant wait for the final exams so I can hits my final nail in your coffin.

ps: I dont bother to correct my grammatical error in this post so that you know what kind of person you are losing to.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

When Ah jed meets his destiny in dream

Hey folks another rare update to my no-body-cares blog before I flew to UK.I, myself dont believe in the existence of god which ironically defies the first rules in Rukun Negara.I dont believe in destiny and fate either, but all thats happening in these few days made me rethink my statement again.

Every time I dreamed, I dreamed of some random short events that is going to happen in the future. It happened to me since I was a child round 5.In these last few months, the dream has became clearer and clearer to the extends that I know which car with what plate number is going to show up when i made the turn.I can also know what reply am I going to get from my friend when i asked on a certain question.I try to stop myself from asking the question(going against destiny), but i just cant , the question just blurted from my mouth 'naturally'. Of course as a human, I was amazed with my ability but at the same time i was scared, I freaked out.

Usually when I dreamed of a certain event in the future, it was an event that is going to happen around 6months later in the future but in these few days,the event happened 3days to 1 week after i dreamed it. What message are the dreams trying to convey to me? Will I have a future in the next 6months?This I am not sure. Freaked out as i am I did a quick google search and I found out that I am actually not alone....

and theres a facebook group on this issue as well

according to one of the answers in the yahoo answer group...
'I've had that happen too. It usually only happens when I'm really tired though. I think what happens is that when the situation really happens, your brain thinks that you preveously dreamed it. But in reality, you didn't really dream it, you just think you did. At least, that was the conclusion I made about what was happening with myself.'

The answer does not make me feel better anyhow, cause when i dreamed I dreamed to the detailed in the future event like car plate and every line that my friends is going to say in the future BEFORE the event took place.

I hope something like 'Final Destination' aint going to happen to me.

Maybe i didnt have a future after all, If my journey is going to end in this few month I seriously hoped that 'the dream' is going to tell me when i was going to depart. It aint scary to die, it is scary when your fate is not in your hands.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

When Ah Jed meets pui por

Okay folks, another rare update to my dead blog.Today, I overslept and missed my morning class.The alarm in my phone aint working right anymore. To be honest, to be truthful, to be 'not lying' I was kinda glad , I slept at 4am last night and I dont want my Jason Mraz alarm to wake me up.

Okay I am in fact guilty of missing the class today, but even if i am guilty, even if I am wrong,that does not change the fact that i am still a normal human being, I need my breakfast. I was all alone in my house this-morning, so no leeching for free breakfast today. The easiest, convenient-iest and budget-iest breakfast will be chicken rice,So i drove my car to the nearest chicken rice stall near my house.

before you read the next paragraph, I would like use this opportunity to tell all the reader that I do not judge a person base on their appearance.I understand and I am well aware that I am not the best looking guy in the world, but I do try my best to be nice to all people.

At there I met a blazingly, oversized woman in typical OL's attire,bobstyle hair, and a nerd glasses.As a nice guy, as a educated person I lined behind her. I also understand that a woman will feel insecure and unsafe when a 6-foot tall unshaved man suddenly stands behind her.She looked back, staring violently straight at my eye. I smiled at her, to clarify the doubts,to clear the fog, sending her a 'I am here to buy chicken rice only and I am hungry' message. She mumbled something, and then look away.Of course , i respected her, she is feeling unsafe, she is feeling violated, she is being psychologically raped, I decided maintain a distance from her after I ordered my chicken rice. She then again, stared violently and angrily at me, even though I maintained a 'safe' distance between me and her, then again she mumbled something and looked away.

I feel so offended, I am ugly, I am fat, and I din shave this morning granted! But which part of me deserves this kind of treatment from her? I give myself many reasons to forgive her, like 'okay i guess she is having her period today', 'she had just lost her job', 'her boyfriend refuse to have sex with her because she is too ugly' or 'her boyfriend just dumped her because she peed at his car'. After giving myself so many reason, and again as an educated man I decided to forgive her.

After answering my mom's call, a honk on the street caught my attention. I looked at that direction and saw that fatty in her blue colour kelisa showing the 'finger' to me.I mean if you wanna do cool things ,if you wanna test your guts you should do it in front of me. I will definitely lay my fist on her anytime, if she does this in front of me. And yeah dont let me see her fat ass on the street again, or else I will definitely give her a free moral lesson in a hard way with the assistance of my co-lecturer , teacher or whatever you wanna call them.

If she think that I am hitting on her just because i smiled at her, she is terribly wrong. This is what we call 'daily etiquette'. When I go to pasar, the malay aunty will smile at me, I go to mamak, the indian waiter will pat my back and ask for my order and I go to bah kut teh stall, the tauke will chat with me. Fatso!this is what we call 1 Malaysia.

There is 2 thing that I regret today,
1) I couldnt lay my fist on the fatso's face
2) I could not take a snapshot of that fatso,

So far in every post of my blog contains picture, so I just googled some random picture and put it in this post.

p/s:To the 4 beautiful lady in this picture, I know you are an angel, i know you are kind-hearted woman, and i know 4 of you do contribute to your country in many ways, if displaying you beautiful picture in my blog does offend you, please e-mail me and i'll remove it immediately.

Monday, September 6, 2010

When Ah Jed meets Ah Gua

wake up 6am in the morning, its a windy and chilly morning!!! I tell myself 'today will definitely be a good day!!!!' but in fact, it turns out to be a disastrous morning,a day that I will never forget.......

Went to the balcony , chilly and soothing winds blows towards me. It will be perfect if theres a teh tarik beside me. Without delay, i drove to nearby 7-eleven to get a copy of 'TheSun' a free newspaper and finally I settle myself in a 24-hours mamak stall near my house. Of course I ordered a cup of teh tarik and began to enjoy my newspaper in this chilly morning.

Round 10-minutes later , this is when the nightmares comes. A presumed-'ah gua' approached me. She asked my permission to sit next to me. I was seating on a 4-peaople seat by the way. Looked around, although the mamak stall was surprisingly crowded in the morning but there are plenty of empty seats available.using that reason, I rejected and point towards the empty seat on the far corner. Dont want to sound discriminating against that particular group, I smiled and offered my advice politely to the presumed-'lady?'. She them mumbles something which I dont understand. I ignored her and continue drinking my very-sweet teh tarik and reading my newspaper. The next thing I know is, she begins to touch my hand pleading 'bolehlah bolehlah'. I asked myself 'boleh what? boleh hentam kamu ke?'and then I started to glare at her, sending a 'fuck off or I'll kill you' message to her. Wrongly interpreted my message she winks at me.................Angrily I bang the table and I stood up. She flee immediately while saying 'janganlah garang garang'. Everyone's looking at me.So, I am the bad guy now huh? Embarrassed, I slip 2 RM1 bill under my half-finished teh tarik cup and go home.

and yeah what an experience.......hope there will be no second time in my life.
I do aware that there uncountable grammatical error in this post and who in the world will cares after they face this unforgettable experience?

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Starting a restaurant [Business lecture](Basics) 1/3

First of all , I would like to warn the reader that this is going to be a fairly long post.If you are not interested in business dont waste your time reading it, time is gold.If you are interested, prepare a cup of coffee/tea , you are going to spend at least half and hour reading it . Trust me =P.

It saddens me when one fails his business and put all his blame on luck or God. To tell the truth, luck got nothing to do with the success rate of a business. Even if it did, it only plays a very very minor role.It is important to know WHY you failed, and it is sad to fail not even know the real reason behind it. For example, you watched world cup final 1 day before the final exams. When the result came out, you failed all your subjects.Looking from a positive point of view, you know the real reason why you failed the exam and you would not repeat the same mistake next time.
It is not cool to end up in hell not knowing the reason why you are there.

Okay enough crap...I'll get to the point now.

Preparation before Starting A Business

-Market survey: this is the most important part of all.

Location: Noone will open a Starbucks in the middle of forest or on the peak of Mount Kinabalu and expect to earn alot on it. If you did this and you actually earns alot from it, pinch yourself you must be dreaming!!

Potential Customer: This is also very important. you dont open a toy shop in a city where the average age is 60 and you dont start a high class 5star hotel beside a dirty fishing village, the fisherman will choose to sleep on the beach rather than paying hard earn salary for his whole in order to sleep 1 night in your hotel.

For example, if you are starting a cafe, you will expect most of your customer to be teenager or middle-aged customer a.k.a people between 17-30.Therefore, you wont play Theresa Teng song , and you will definitely shows live football match in your HD TV on weekends.Dunno who the hell Theresa Teng is?

If you are starting a steamboats restaurant, you will expects your customer to come in a group of at least 3 or more.Therefore you dont prepare a dining table which can only fits 1 people.
Despite saying that, it might be different from town to town, city to city, villages to villages. Old fart in some town , might enjoy playing with toy and fisherman in some area might be rich enough to spend his whole life in your 5-star hotel you never knows.And maybe just maybe, youngster these day might enjoy listening to teresa teng's song. And again you never knows. Therefore, market survey is extremely super duper important!! dont even think about starting a business without even conducting a market survey, it will be useless on later date when you start complaining that the elderly customers visits the candy shop next to you more than your healthy vegetarian restaurant.

A very good example of successful market survey(potential customer) will be this.

Where is it? what business is it? find out yourself I cant give more than that.

Budget: pretty self-explanatory. Beware of the budget.Lets talk about fishing.Bigger hook are used to fish bigger fish.Different feed is used to fish different fish.Just like stock market the more you invest the more you earn and of course it goes the same when you are losing. Put a 'value' on everything. When the object or subject meets your 'value/expectation' then it is a good deal.Going out of the topic? nah!just think again.

Differentiate between needs and junk/rubbish/useless stuff/placenta fluid (whatever you wanna call it). Spending RM100k on building a high class toilet full of flowers for a mamak stall is a placenta fluid. Providing a tissue for every 4 table is a needs.Got my point? There is alot more to talk about budget actually, for eg: applying loan from banks, financial management, and alot lot more, but i need to stick to my title and discuss about 'basics' only.

tired already? it is only 1/3 of my entire post, take a short break or stop if you are totally not interested in business

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Streamyx and Tm-Nuts?

Dun ask me why i revive my dead blog, cos i have no intention to answer.
I have been the calmest people in the world, but today there are actually people alive that are capable of making me piss off.Yup from the title you know who already.

The sun actually took 30sec to load the page, when you click the headlines, another 30sec of waiting.When someone tries stops me from reading news, I'll be really piss off.Trust me.
So i called to streamyx as usual doing all the speed test,reseting the modem and so on.....ok good...still slow, and they claim that maybe it was slow because I was surfing on a non-Malaysian based webpage.

So, let me give you an example, you buy a Perodua Myvi in S'gor. It was equipped with the best engine in the world, can accelerate to 100km/h in 2 secs. A indestructible bumper, you bump onto the lorry the lorry will terbalik not you. Equipped super durable bullet proof car body.You instantly becomes syok, u asked the salesman 'betul ke?'he answered 'betul!' but it is only applicable in Selangor, you go to Perak your car will terbalik when collide with a bicycle,using 5sec to accelerate to 10km/h, and the car body fell off when a fat man sneezes.

So will you still buy that car??? Streamyx self-proclaimed the fastest internet in Malaysia, but the fastest speed is for Malaysia-based webpage only.......Will you still subscribe it??!!!!!

I am just too lazy to go through with the whole switching procedure,or else i could have switched to another ISP already.But you never knows if this kind of shit excuse and services continues, it might turn me into a hardworking fella.

And finally dun expect another update soon........I post on my blog because this whole shit is too much to post on facebook. Unless there are some other people living out there that are capable of making me pissed off like streamyx,which i seriously doubt it.